Perhaps I am not reliable.

Perhaps I am not capable.

Perhaps I am already blacklisted.

Why does it seems that when I really want to do work, people reject my offer? I am aware that I screwed the CRM slightly. I know I am real sucky in IT skills. I know my level of competency might be considered low in comparison. I just know, but the feeling I have is not that great.

I don't need comforting or consoling. I hate them! I just want myself to be an achiever! Why is it that I am not given any solid work? Not even any solid work to try to mess up. I am precisely 'rotting' . I can't even rest or brain-storm properly.

Don't know if I am thinking too much.

Don't know if it is just my mood swing.

I only know that I am getting paranoid.

Am I too demanding? Am I too picky? Am I too irritating? Am I becoming a control freak or some sort? I need answers.