I am feeling frustrated right now, thus I have decided to pen down my thoughts to release the trapped steam.

I have enough of human relationships. Perhaps, I have enough of myself being mindful of what others are thinking and saying. I am tired of all these issues and I wish all this "nonsense" would stop.

I know I sound weak saying this but I think human relationships in BFSC were much simple. As compared to BFSC, the course-mates in EMT Spec are much more complicated.

Just recently, Kendrick tagged me in some course photos on Facebook. Initially, I felt disgusted after looking at those photos. I am ashamed of who I am, of my current state and status. However, after comments started flowing, I start to think that it might be me all along who sink the boat.

Why am I trying to deny myself the memories of one of the happiest days in my life?! My ego has been affecting me all along. My inner wall was never demolished.

Coming back to my current state, I feel that there are people who are genuinely doing their best but got branded. While, I thought some of the people are sincere but now I feel the opposite, especially after this one incident.

My Mum was right about me after all. My thinking has all along been too simple, that I didn't even know until I hurt myself. I thought my beliefs are right, but my recent experiences seem to have prove mysef wrong.

I am really tired and disillusioned, so much so that I think everybody are plotting something. Luckily, the course is coming to an end. Maybe I can see the true colours after everyone sets on their own path and Time can reveal the truth.

Meanwhile, the experiences I gained in this course make me miss BFSC even more. At least I think everything was a lot more simple, and we enjoyed it from the bottom of our heart.