For the whole day I've been doing project. Although only CSB is done, I guess the workload is enough since today is the day before New Year Eve. Somehow it is quite special.

Reached home at 9.10pm. I haven't even warm my seat and I received a SMS. My buddy called me out for supper. After a few glasses of complicated feelings, I went ahead to meet.

Tried to harden my heart but I can't bear and I loosen up for a while. Though I wanted to converse in English, but I guess I didn't want to spoil their moods since it has been a while since I joined them for usual activities.

I don't hate them. They are not wrong in any ways. The problem lies with me. Because of my guiltiness, I nearly wanted to go home during midway. I believe they know that I wanted to isolate from them, but I just brushed it off as stress.

What have I become? Am I mad? I am just trying to do things that are for my own good. I can say that they are not good for me. Our paths are different, that is what I have perceived. And now, I don't know what should I do anymore.

Listen to your heart and seek desire.

Listen to your mind and seek knowledge.

What am I listening to?