After reading Straits Times last Saturday, I knew I have never been so lost.

Once again the cruel fact falls onto me that I will never get into any of the 3 local harvards based on my poor grades.

Once again I have shown myself how naive and ignorant I am.

Once again I know I have to have a change of plan.

Don't think I am able to study in NTU anymore, or rather any of the 3 local universities. Take NTU as an example, 10,000 applications were sent weeks ago for merely 2,000 seats. I haven't bring up the fact that the 2,000 seats have to be split among the foreigners , JC students and then the Polytechnic students.

Quote from Mr Edwin Lim, students are supposed to be young and innocent. Well, he is 1/4 right about this. Why 1/4? For the word "young", I am already 19 going 20, and average lifespan for human is like 80? I have lived for almost 20 years already, not considered young anymore. As for the word "innocent", JC students volunteer at old folk's home just to get a testimonial that might boost their application. I am so shocked when I read that. I remembered I took Moral and Civic Education before. Even though I have to admit that I am now morally grey, but it is obvious that the JC students are on the edge towards the darkness. Reality has wiped out the innocent hearts.

And since I am no match for the brilliant and smart JC students, as well as my Polytechnic peers. I guess I better not stay on the spot and hope my next move will drop from the sky. So what will be my next move after being checkmated once, I have no idea yet. More reading have to be done, more money required, more time will be spent and there is more to come.

Will I shift into the darkness?