Feeling emotional after looking at Terry's Certificate of Service, though it's not the first time I feel this way. It's a similar feeling when I met the 91st recently and they were talking about their CoS and their potential NS PTI issues. I felt so lost. Now I am looking at Maju's PTIs' happy faces, I can feel my green horns growing out. Being able to work with comrades sharing similar background, and to joke and laugh over even the smallest issue it might be. I really envy my fellow course-mates.

I have never expect my NS route to be like a roller-coaster ride, or expect myself to OOC, twice. At every phrases of my NS life when I had adjusted myself, and beginning to "enjoy" and build bonds with people around me, I am forced to change my environment. It's hard to start afresh, when I am not very sociable by nature.

"Eh David, you have finally settled down," was what ZH said to me when I saw him coincidentally during Dental FFI.

That short comment, had made an impact within me.

Have I really settled down? Is CP MC where I "belong"? Or CP MC is simply an interchange, since I have to board the other train into the Civilian soon, very very soon.

I am afraid. I am scared that my CoS is either too empty, or too long. Empty because I have been floating around, or too long because of the detailed descriptions of where I have been to. Either way, I am ashamed of the route I have taken.

This roller-coaster ride has also made my ORD seems unreal. Fellow Medic course-mates are posted into individual units only recently and to ORD one year later, yet I am in the process of doing the out-processing. I really wonder if my NSF liability has come to an end.

I am tired. I have been thinking too much. I am making myself confused.

Though the (potential) answer is obvious, but "theory" is different from "practical".

Home, is where your heart is. Period.