Went to visit HY at SGH yesterday. It's the last time I will be visiting him in the hospital, our world-class transportation service aren't cheap. The operation on Friday was a success, but he is in pain somehow. I just hope that he can get well soon.

A rare visitor came along with us today. It's Jay! He did come as promised. Actually, I did not expect him to visit though. I thought JB might have a higher chance but I guess he is too addicted to gaming. Anyway, I found that he too want to take SAT and JR took hers already. The conversation continued and eventually lead to my minor breakdown.

Jay is considering Australia for further education and JR got accpeted to one of the colleges there already. I did not ask which school is she enrolled in, but given her expectation it should among the Group of Eight. The conversation revolved around SAT, Australia colleges, degree(s) to take up, monetary costs involved, Ivy Leagues and etc.

It's been a long time since I am exposed to such valuable information. I lost my milk cow (Ong) since I left SP . I am seriously shaken by how ignorant I am, once again.

When I am still young and perhaps innocent, I have ambition, lots of them. I just change every year. I took none seriously. I am glad that I knew which career paths I would be most unlikely to take.

Only during my 3 years in SP, I gradually know only vaguely what I want to do. I am such a late developer. But, truth and reality are cruel. I started losing faith. My vision was blurred, I couldn't see my future.

Even till now, I do not know what exactly do I want to study. In fact, given my poor academic grades, I am not in a situation where I still have the right to choose. My choices left are very limited. That explains why I am having a minor breakdown, that is why I avoid this issue when I am still doing my contract job. Now that it ended, I continue delaying it. I guess the Upper Almighty decided to drop me a wake-up call.

Where's my North?